Shut up until you are perfect
Somewhere along the lines this is the message I got and have been feeding myself.
That you shouldn’t share your truth, express yourself, show up, teach, lead, facilitate, have an opinion, give advice, share or be an example until you’ve got it all figured out and are doing it all perfectly.
You’re not there yet so keep quiet, stay small and pleasing, wait wait wait for the magical time when you are qualified enough and experienced at doing it all just-so enough. And you better wait or else!
Or else you might be wrong
You might say something wrong
Write something wrong
Do something wrong
YOU might be wrong.
And if you are wrong they will condemn you
The mystery ‘they’.
The mystery judges who set the bar for qualification
The mystery haters whose opinions somehow mean more than your own and those of those who love you.
That is the story that goes around and around my subconscious and occasionally seeps into the conscious.
I have such a double standards for myself. There are numerous people whose works I read, buy, am inspired by, assisted by and whom I adore. People who definitely don’t have all their shit together. People who are flawed and growing and, according to me, are wrong’ at times. And these gloriously flawed human beings,
never would I ever want them to shut up until they are perfect.
Never would I ever want them to stay small and quiet and keep their voice from the world. On the contrary, I want to hear more. I want to hear it all! I would pay them for it in fact. Sometimes I want to send them emails asking if they would be my mentor, shit not together and all.
If they ever expressed to me that they feel inadequate and not worthy to do what they do, or that they really just say the same things as this person and that person so why hear it from them,
I would clasp my hands onto their upper-arms, lift then off the floor and make them look me in the eyes and hear me when I say;
People want to hear from you
People WANT to hear from you
Your perspective, even on the same stuff as what others are sharing
People want to hear more from you BECAUSE of your perceived flaws and not enoughness, not in spite of it. Because of it!!
I would love to have heard your story from the beginning, to have read it as it plays out. I am often trawling back though your archives to see how you got started and how you changed and evolved. I can’t get enough! I don’t want to see only the end product. Although you are neither a product or at an end point.
You will never be perfect.
You will never be as fill in the blank as you desire to be, because you desires will continue to expand and morph so you always have something delicious to aim for because the joy IS in the journey. And by golly I want to see your journey.
I don’t care about qualified, I care about the resonance and power in your message. I don’t care even if you don’t walk your talk most of the time if what you have to say stirs my soul and encourages me to do the walking. Or entertains me. Or makes me feel connected.
Please speak up. We want to hear you. Those of us who are all ready the converted. Preach to us, we LOVE to hear it.
Please share. Even when the haters get you down. We are here, we are listening, we who love you, love you. But most of all,
Do it because YOU love you
Because you deserve the life you desire
The one in which you lead, share, express, create, inspire.
Because it is who you are. The writer. The creator. The speaker. The share. The leader.
Sure, don’t deny us who you really are
But more than that,
Don’t deny yourself who you really are
If you do, it will eat away at your soul
The world doesn’t need anyone else with eaten down souls
It needs you shining
Your family need you shining
Your friends and community need you shining
You need you shining
You WANT to be shining
Your light is right.
Your light is right.