From OVERWHELMED with trying to balance career and life and ready to throw it all in
to feeling CLEAR, EXCITED and EMPOWERED!
I have the BEST(!) conversations with my client’s
There is no time when I feel more clear, more inspired, more tapped in and guided and can feel that the words and ideas are flowing from source THROUGH me (instead of from me) then when I am deep in a connected, open and transformational conversation with someone who is willing, open and ready to receive it and change.
My best stuff, my most powerful, aligned, GREAT feeling message comes out in those convos. And I often think, Man! (woman?) if only others could hear what we are talking about, if only I could publish this conversation!
I have the same or very similar conversations with multiple people and what we discuss can always be applied to all sorts of different situations, so I know others would benefit from hearing what is being shared.
Then I thought, well, why don’t I!? Why not share what we talk about?
So today, that is what I am doing. Here goes….
Note: This conversation, although inspired by once particular client session, is generalized and has been reworded as it represents a combination of conversations I have had with many different people. Details have hence been altered to generalize and maintain confidentiality 🙂
Client: ARGH I feel totally overwhelmed and confused about what to do. I just want to thrown the whole thing in!
I thought this was exactly what I wanted, this career, because I love what I do mostly but it’s just SO busy and there is so much admin and stuff I have to do that I hate doing! Plus having to balance that all with my relationship and family. and looking after me…
I feel right now like quitting the whole thing and just spending my days going to the beach and hanging with my kids. I am NOT happy but I also worry I will be bored and unfulfilled if I gave it up. And we really need the money. And I am scared of making the wrong decision. Help!
Me: No wonder you are feeling overwhelmed, your mind is going haywire trying to work things out and come up with decisions when you are feeling totally confused. Take a breather. There is nothing you have to change right this second. You don’t have to make any big decisions right nowTake that pressure off yourself to start. You don’t have to figure all this out once and for all. Clarity comes from being aligned. Feeling confused and overwhelmed is just a sign of misalignment. It’s just a lot of momentum going. You are OK.
Client: Yep, that is what I do, I try to jump right into figuring out solutions and changing things in my life. I don’t always feel terrible about my life/career and want to make a BIG change, but the idea of it is tempting: Change EVERYTHING and I’ll feel better!
Me: Yep there’s there issue. Thinking we can control circumstances to make us feel happy. But we can;t control everything about our circumstances; there are WAY too many moving parts to control, and plenty we can’t control like other people’s emotions etc. Hence if you try to do so you end up feelng overwhelmed and disheartened! Your world responds TO you. Cant get annoyed at the mirror for not showing a smiling reflection. You gotta smile first.
C: How do I know if I need to make an actual change to my situations, or whether I work on how I feel despite my busy life?
Me: The hard truth is, your happiness depends on nothing except your own attitude and beliefs. For sure, certain circumstances make is easier to be happier than others. And it is OK to change things to make it easier to feel better. But as I said, if you go around feeling have to have things a certain way in order to be happy, that things have to be ‘just so’ otherwise you can’t feel good, then that is bloody hard and impossible work. You are trapped by circumstance . And what you really crave is FREEDOM.Can you feel good among the ‘chaos’ of your current life? You can and you do often. Should I throw it all in and radically change my life? Maybe. Will it guarantee you will be happy and fulfilled? No 😉
Client: Yes, I get that. So what now?
Me: My suggestion…For a little while (or forever really, but let’s say a little while to ease you in 😉 )…What if you stopped trying to control or alter any circumstances in your life? And instead focused ONE thing: How you feel.
Client: I feel I’ve been doing that…but I obviously haven’t!
Me: It’s OK. And you have been trying too. You are are also focused on the circumstances of your life and what needs to change there in order to be happy.But that’s the wrong way round. YOU change first and the circumstances change to match
Client: Yes, I’ve definitely been searching for what I can change, like there’s some answer out there that I just need to find
Me: Which is a long search because it’s never out there. Cue overwhelm and uncertainty!
Client: So how do I apply this practically? Changing how I feel/my vibration?
Me: You all ready have a lot of tools you are aware of, naps, meditation, being in nature etc. And all those tools are helpful.But the biggest thing is making focusing on and caring about how you feel your dominant intent.
Client: Ok…should I write that down and tell myself often? Focus on feeling good? It feels so airy fairy…like what does that even mean? ha ha.
Me: I think the biggest thing for you to realise right now is: You have an option in every situation. An option in how you feel and react e.g. I have to do this admin work; Option 1: feel crap and resentful about it. Option 2: feel better about it! Does that mean you should be do focus wheels and all these processes to make yourself love admin work? No! It is about understanding that your now vibration is what attracts so you care enough to do something about the way you feel.And if you can’t outsource a task or not have to do it for some other reason, your option, your ONLY option, if you want to change you point of attraction, is to talk yourself into being OK with it.That might mean taking a 10 minute break to go for a walk and get your head in a place where you feel OK about it.A question to use as a mantra: am I trying to control this circumstance or trying to control me? Both take effort. Only ONE is ultimately effective
Client: That seems too simple. And too simple makes me worried I am not doing enough!
Me: We are so conditioned to think complex equals better. But this work IS simple. Not always super ease but simple.Your vibration is EVERYTHING. Your reality literally responds TO you. It doesn’t have a will of its own
Client: OK I get it. Controlling the circumstance is impossible, and hard work…and not the answer. Controlling how I respond to a situation or circumstance is the only way forward…my only option really. I can choose to feel good no matter the circumstances. And if I can’t, I need to do something to talk myself around which might including things like taking a time out, or a nap etc
Me: Beautiful. You got it. It will change your life.
Client: I hope so. I am so ready. It does make total sense.
Me: Important note here. Don’t do any of this to MAKE things happen. E.g. Ok, I am gonna feel good about this so it will change and I won’t have to do it anymore
Client: Snap, You got me! 🙂
Me: Focus on changing how you feel for one reason only…Because it feels good!
Client: Is that what people mean by letting go of any attachment to the outcome?
Me: Yes! Because all the things you want, a better career, a better body, to be richer etc is all in order to FEEL better. It’s about knowing the outcome is assured. So there is no need to MAKE it happen. All the things you want to change WILL change into what you desire. But only in response to how you feel. And not digging the seed up every few hours and seeing if it has grown! (ie taking score if what you are doing is ‘working’). If your objective is to feel great, then you know if it’s working by how you feel.
Client: I got it! OK…I can do this!
Me: You sure can! Also you will forget all this and go back to your usual patterns. That is normal and OK. The key is to keep re-remembering and re setting your intention. But it will get easier and easier as more and more momentum builds with practice and focus.Because feeling good is your natural state. It’s not about working to GET happy, it’s letting all the other unhelpful beliefs and thoughts drop away.And you do that by starving them out! By gently surely and slowly shifting your focus to what I you prefer to think/believe
Client: One last questions, should I take any practical steps to change my current situations at all?
Me: Do what is easy in terms of altering circumstances. Do what comes from inspiration and fun, not from lack or fear or worry. E.g. you decide to go for a long walk alone tonight because it feels good to you and your know it helps your mood vs handing in your notice because you are worried it’s the source of all your problems! Extreme example but you get my point. Don’t try too hard 🙂
Client: Yep, that makes sense.
Me: If you took all the effort focus and time you spent trying to figure out or fix or change circumstances and put it instead into deliberately shifting your vibration: HUGE impact! And it requires very little extra effort cause you are applying effort either way!
Client: YES!! Exactly! Thanks SO MUCH. Yes I care so much about how I feel, just been trying to change it the wrong way. I feel so feel much better than when we started this conversation! Kind of excited actually. Am feeling the desire to go for a barefoot walk right now randomly!
Me: Inspired action 🙂 It will come think and fast (and fun!) as positive momentum builds. And notice about that excited feeling….NOTHING has changed. Same career. Same schedule. Same financial situation. Different emotion.
Client: Yes! I love it. Am off for that walk now!
Interested in having your own private and transformational conversation? Check out how to work with me HERE: http://hannahmaymarshall.com/workwithme/
Hannah May x