I originally started this as a DIET DON’T WORK post. It had me convincing you with research and strong words how diet’s actually CAUSE weight gain and more often than not, are detrimental to your emotional, mental and, yes, physical health.
That post was to be an online version of me grabbing you by the shoulders and shaking you until you got it. Until it sunk in that the way you are constantly trying to lose weight is not only ultimately ineffective, it’s very potentially doing you harm. That post was me shouting from the internet roof tops, hoping you would hear the diet’s-don’t-work message above the siren songs of “Drop 10 pounds fast” and “this isn’t a diet, it’s a life-style change.”
But it didn’t feel right. I am not much of a confrontational shoulder shaker.
It felt like that post would only scratch the surface of what I wanted to share. Yes, diet’s don’t work, when by work you mean enable you to lose weight, keep it off and do so without almost always worrying about how this food or skipped workout would change your weight. But that wasn’t the whole story. Nothing ever is. It would have been a good first step, but it doesn’t tell you what I really want to tell you.
Instead of yelling at you in a (written) frenzy, trying to force your brain to process information it doesn’t really want to hear. What I really want to do is this:
I want to take your hands in mine. Look you strongly but kindly in the eyes. Really see you. Connect with you and tell you from the deepest knowing of my heart:
You don’t have to do this. Your worth, your health, your beauty, your potential to live a full and wonderful life is not determined by the shape or size of your body. What you have been doing or trying to do for so long; the sticking to the healthy eating plan, the gym hours, the vigilance, the white-knuckling, the starting afresh…it’s not working.
It is not going to work. I am sorry.
You have been led to believe it would. It’s not your fault. You are not the problem.
The whole idea that diet’s work, that losing weight will make you healthy, that you need to be a certain shape, that you are failing because you are weak willed and that you will be happy once you have finally sorted this diet and exercise thing out… is not true. It is those false, but widely promoted and accepted beliefs that, among other things, are the problem.
You are not flawed, the concept is.
I know that can be difficult to believe.
I know you may feel at a loss for what to do instead.
I want to tell you, to show you, there is a different way to do this whole eating/dealing with your body thing. A better way.
Where instead of worrying all the time about what and when to eat, you will be able to make food choices based on what makes you feel amazing.
Instead of having the numbers from the scale constantly in the back of your mind, you hardly ever even think about what you weigh.
Instead of feeling anxious and out of control around food, you feel at ease and peaceful and just…normal.
Instead of feeling trapped and locked into having to stick to something forever, you feel free and adaptable.
Instead of food being a burden or something that induces guilt, it is a source of great pleasure and nourishment.
Instead of eating what you shouldn’t and then eating more because you have already stuffed up, you don’t have any shouldn’ts in the first place.
Instead of fighting your body, it becomes greatest tool and ally.
Instead of it all being a struggle and a mess, it is easy and light and fun.
It can be like that. Yes, even for you. You are not the defective exception.
You too can feel happy, healthy, peaceful, at ease, free, light, joyful. I so want that for you. More importantly, I know deep down you want and need that for yourself. You don’t have to spend any more of your precious time, money and energy on what hasn’t been working. On what won’t work.
There is a better way.
And when you are ready, when you have let this all sink in. When you have explored a bit more into how you can become that happy, healthy, peaceful eater. When you have decided, that yes, yes I want that. When you are willing to change course for the better.
I will be here.
I can point you in the direction you wish to go. I can be your guide if you don’t want to embark on this journey alone. I can show you how to find pleasure and freedom.
Because, sweet friend, joyful, light and free is who you are at your core. I can’t wait to help you to uncover that. To discover how to have a relationship with food, your body, yourself that enhances and enriches your life.
I am here when you are ready.
And I would tightly and loving give your hands a squeeze. Then hug you close if that felt right and needed. And I would let go. A subtle sparkle of tears in my eyes. I would hope that you heard me. And I would wait.
I am waiting.
To hear your story. To hear your trepidation. To hear your courage and your yearning.
To hear when you are ready.
Hannah May x