I woke up today on the grumpy side of the bed. In fact, I didn’t even wake up in my bed as I had slept with the bubba who was having a rough night.
This grouchy, irritated, off feeling continued into my morning. And as someone who is used to feeling really good, I can hardly stand being out of alignment.
Nothing in particular was bugging me. But when you are in that state, it also feels like EVERYTHING annoys you.
After a while I asked myself: how much longer am I going to use this (whatever it was, doesn’t matter exactly WHAT was aggregating me) as my excuse for not feeling good. For feeling disconnected from my true, higher, blissful feeling self.
I decided, not ANY longer.
I CHOSE to let that feeling go and CHOSE to head towards joy.
I didn’t get there all at once. It took some deliberate thinking and some soothing actions.
But above all it took my willingness to let go of the justifications for feeling bad and my conscious choice to feel better.
So how about you?
Are you willing to give up the excuses? No matter how valid they may be?
You always have a choice. And any choice you choose is OK. But it’s always a choice.
I pose this question in the audio above as a means of inviting self-reflection and contemplation. I personally LOVE becoming more and more aware of where I am deliberately creating my life, and where I am still acting from old and unhelpful beliefs and patterns of thought.
Contemplation, as opposed to meditation which encourages you to quiet and detach from thinking, is the act of engaging in deep, reflective thought as a means of gaining insight.
I invite you to go somewhere quiet, relax your body, maybe have a journal handy to write any guidance or ideas you receive, and enjoy allowing your mind to meander and explore this topic.
The audio is under 4 minutes long but you may like to spend longer than this mulling over the ideas that come to mind. And be open to receiving more insight and inspired ideas over the next few days as the mental seeds planted by this contemplation come to fruition.
Overeating, binge eating, emotional eating. For almost everyone I talk to and work with, these negative eating patterns are a sign. A symptom. A red flag showing you that something is off in your life.
Eating more than your body needs with accompanying negative emotions such as guilt, overwhelment, loss of control and embarrassment, tells you that there are other areas of your life where you feeling less than positive.
I had a conversation with a friend today and she was describing how something in her life wasn’t going well and people would say to her;
But at least you are healthy.
You can be thankful that you live in such a great house.
And those things are true. And wonderful. And ARE something to appreciate.
But when you are feeling afraid or helpless or worried or powerless,
Having someone tell you that you ought to be be grateful,
can feel dam well annoying.
That goes for trying to appreciate on your own too.
It can make you feel WORSE because a now you feel bad for not being thankful enough.
Or you end up putting a fake happy mask over the dread and anxiety you are ACTUALLY feeling.
In those situations,
trying to be grateful is doing no good.
The whole point of being thankful is to elicit within you a FEELING of appreciation.
If the opposite is happening, you are better off not writing your ‘3 things for which you are grateful’ list.
Sure, when you are feeling more neutral or in a more positive mind space, appreciation is awesome! And I can’t recommend it highly enough.
That’s because when you are in a more positive mood, it’s not such a big jump to CREATE the feeling of appreciation .
But going from powerlessness and worry… is too large a leap.
What to do instead?
Aim for feeling SLIGHTLY better.
Not all the way in love with life and brimming with gratitude.
Just slightly shift your focus onto a thought that feels a little more calming. A bit more broad. A touch more gentle.
‘I am doing OK. Not great, but OK’
‘This is tough but tough can get easier in time’
‘Breathe. Take in a breath. That’s all I need to do right now’
‘I don’t need to fix this all at once.’
You will know you have found a more helpful thought when thinking about it makes want to breathe a little sigh of relief. When you feel your shoulder relax a little. When you feel the worry lines on your forehead soften a smidgen.
Then keep doing that.
Choose a slightly improved thought.
Let yourself notice and acknowledge that you were able to every so gently shift the feeling within you.
Do that, and you are on your way to effortless, great-feeling, overflowing states of appreciation.